Booty Call of a Different Kind

When I travel home to visit my family, I check in with friends as everyone might do. The unsettling thing about my trips is that I am looking for more than an up-date from a few friends. I sacrifice time with my mom and brother so that I can have coffee while looking deep into the eyes of a friend I will call, Martin Evans. Mr. Evans and I dated awhile and now call ourselves "friends," but the deep history and internal hang-ups in us both could fill in the pages of a steamy novel.
There is another friend who I have only known for a few years, he treats me like a princess every time I go home. I will call him Salt-n-Pepper.
Every time I return to my new home at the foot of the Rocky Mountains, I feel like I have just fulfilled a "Booty Call.... of a different Kind." No kisses or steamy physical interaction take place in these booty calls. But there is an exchange of intellect and spiritual truth...which often times leaves me feeling more empty and used than if it were physical. The emails and phone calls are very few and far between when I am away. And I feel like I leave a lot of my integrity smeared across the floor of the Broadway Cafe or an empty bachelor's pad.
When will I say "no" to the intrusion of my deepest ideas; the place where I long for a man to meet me and know me from? When will I stop giving these precious parts of me to "friends without commitment?"
To answer my own question: I will stop when I realize that I am to be treated like a Queen and say no to all the offers that fall below the bar.